I remember one time when I was about 16. We (my mum, brother, and I) were in the city. We had stayed with my grandparents the night before and got up to go to the local farmers market with them the next morning.
My grandma used to buy her milk at the farmer’s market, as that was where it was the least processed. I’ll never forget the conversation that I had.
The lady who sold the milk to us said something to my grandma about men needing to be constantly nagged or they wouldn’t do anything. That they had to be trained. My grandma agreed and went on her way. My mom was deciding whether or not to buy some milk too, so I stayed there with her.
“I don’t agree.” I told the lady.
“Men don’t need to be constantly nagged. We don’t need to train them.”
“Oh, honey, you’re young. You’ll find out when you get married someday.”
“No, I won’t. Men don’t need to be nagged. How would you feel if your husband nagged you all the time?”
The lady turned to my mom. “You might want to tell her how wrong she is.”
“Except she isn’t.” My mom told the lady.
“She’ll grow up and see she is someday.” The lady replied.
We ended up agreeing to disagree and leaving. My mom didn’t buy any of the milk, but I think that was because the prices were too high, even for low pasteurized milk.
The worst part of this exchange was the woman’s grandson (who looked to be about 14) was sitting right there, listening to his grandma say all this. I felt so bad for him.
To this lady who told me all these things, I say this: I’ve been married for two years now. Yes, it has had its ups and downs. Even the best marriages do. But if I nagged my husband and “trained” him like you were talking about, I’d have an even worse time. I might even be divorced.
Ladies, your husband needs your honor and respect. Not your nagging and “training.” Don’t be like that woman. Don’t belittle him or treat him like a child. Don’t manipulate him. And don’t disrespect him. You’ll find less arguing and and overall happier life when you do.